Thursday, February 12, 2009

Pleading the Fifth

For this week's Dogs on Thursday post, I have one question. Whooo Diidd Thiiiisssss???????

I give you Exhibit A:

The object in question is one sock, containing the perfect shade of brown to go with a pair of pants owned by the wearer of the sock. Some may look on this item as merely a garment to cover the foot, but closer inspection reveals that this is a hand-knit sock in a very pleasing combination of colors. It was knit on size 0 (2mm) double pointed needles, 80 stitches to a round, and the heel is formed using Balbriggan Heel shaping technique as seen in the "St. Peter Port Stripes" (Ravelry link) pattern from Nancy Bush's excellent volume entitled "Folk Socks".

A witness states that Exhibit A was whole and in good condition when it was placed in the clothes hamper at precisely 6:35 am on Wednesday, February 11, 2009. This same witness next saw this item as she was preparing to leave her domicile (a.k.a. Britknitterville) to go to her place of employment at 7:45 am on the same day. At that time, Exhibit A was no longer in the hamper, but was found on top of a doggie bed known to be frequented by Miss Tara Britknitter, a member of the Britknitterville household.

It is with great regret that we report that Exhibit A was found with a large hole in the heel, rendering it unusable for its intended purpose as a foot covering. Our CSI team reports that the hole was made by the gnashing of teeth. The presence of a multitude of doggie saliva further corroborates this theory. We do not wish to be indelicate, but the team suggests that the missing fabric will likely...umm..."make an appearance" in the backyard within 24 hours, if you know what we mean.

The three doggie residents of Britknitterville were immediately taken into custody for questioning. Miss Emma Britknitter (a.k.a. Emmy McMemmy, Mimi, Lickey-Face-Girl) and Mr. Cooper Britknitter (a.k.a. Cooper No, Cooper Get Down, Cooper Drop It) both state that they never saw Exhibit A, they have no knowledge of Exhibit A, and "What's an Exhibit A"?

However, when questioning Ms. Tara Britknitter (a.k.a. Tattoo, Tatty McTatters, Rat-a-tat-tat) she merely invoked the fifth amendment by stating, "On advice of my counsel, I respectfully decline to answer your questions based on the protections afforded me under the U.S. Constitution".
Until such a time as the culprit of this heinous act has been found and brought to justice, there will be no more watching the Peanut Corporation of America hearings on MSNBC.

11 comments:

Channon said...

MJ, Uncle and I all HOWLED. That was a cute spin on a rotten situation. Bad, bad Tara!!

Sue said...

Uh oh, I see you get some help with your laundry, too. Look at that sad little face. How can you be mad at that?

soulbrush said...

aaaaw look at that face....

Nichole said...

Poor baby girl was just missing Mama and looking for something that smelled like her... :/

Can you "mend" the hole enough to wear?

dogquilter said...

Charlotte and Wilbur totally believe Tara. A dog from the neighborhood snuck into the house, devoured the sock and laid the exhibit thingy in Tara's bed. Total case of mistaken identity or something like that. Or maybe the owner snagged the sock and doesn't remember doing it...They also suggest Tara should show owner puppy dog eyes and give her lots of kisses so as to distract her from thinking about whatever it was that started the post in the first place. :)

margo koehler said...

Let me know when the evidence shows up in the yard!
My Aunt once had to extract a whole tube sock from her boxer, LOL

dogyarnfun said...

What a cute blog.
I think Ms. Tara Britknitter did the right thing, best not to incriminate yourself.

(Not-So) Cynical Gal said...

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! What a great post. Sorry about that sock...made for a great story for sure :)

Jennifer said...

What an awesome post! Apparently, February is National Eating Things We Mustn't month for dogs. (Frisky is just fine, now - thanks for asking :)

Nonetheless, Frisky believes that Tara has been framed, most likely by a cat of questionable moral character.

Mindy said...

Very entertaining post! Cute doggie, even if she looks a little guilty there :)

Criquette said...

LOL! There is "guilt" written all over that sweet, sweet face!