Yes, I really am that stupid.

This morning I was told I would receive a telephone call at my work number at 1:00 pm Central time. I resisted the urge to say "What time is that on the east coast?" After all, I didn't want this woman to think I am from some back-of-beyond-hicksville-town-in-the-middle-of-a-bunch-of farms in South Jersey. Even though I am.

Now, I'm not exactly a world traveller. In fact, I have never travelled outside of my own time zone. How pathetic is that? I am, however, a reasonably intelligent human being. I completed high school and college, and even some post-grad work. Surely I am aware that the Eastern and Central time zones are right next to each other, therefore only 1 hour different. So, if it is 1:00 Central time, it is noon Eastern time, right? Right. Right?

Ok, noon approaches and I sit and nervously twiddle my thumbs. 12:10....12:15....12:30 comes and no call. At this point I get my cell phone out of my purse and call my work number. It rings. I hang up right away. 12:45 comes and goes. I think maybe I was dreaming the "Central" part, and the call will really come in at 1:00 Eastern time. 1:00 comes along, then 1:15 and still no call. Now I am sure that the call was trying to come in at the very same second that I was calling myself from my cell phone. What are the chances of that? Great. I've missed my call.

Why was I so uptight about this phone call? It was from the Gayle King Show - they asked me to be available to talk to Gayle on the radio! Me! Little ol' me from some back-of-beyond-hicksville-town-in-the-middle-of-a-bunch-of-farms in South Jersey!

Yesterday on my way to work, I was listening to Gayle (we're on a first name basis now, don't ya know) and she mentioned something about getting a new dog when she moves to her apartment in New York City. She said she is going to get a dog from a shelter or rescue organization. Yay Gayle! Yay for Rescue! I decided to go to the radio show's website and send Gayle an email. (I have never, ever done anything like this before, but I feel very strongly about rescue.) In the email, I just mentioned how much I enjoy the show, and that on behalf of homeless animals everywhere, I wanted to thank her for considering a rescue dog and for raising awareness about the many, many animals out there in need of a loving home.

Well, last night I got a message from Leslie at Harpo, Inc. (Yes, Oprah's Harpo!!!) asking if I could be available today during the taping of Gayle’s radio show. They would like me to be a caller. How exciting is that? I called Leslie back this morning, and she said that at 1:00 pm Central time, they would call me, and I would listen in on the taping of Gayle's monologue, and if time permitted, I would be one of the callers after the first commercial break. Exciting, eh? Now you see why I didn't want to miss that call.

Ok, fast forward back to today. At some point while I was feeling like the biggest fool in the world for telling anyone (my parents, my coworkers) about the radio thing, I came upon the brilliant realization that 1:00 pm Central time is not noon Eastern time... 1:00 pm Central time is 2:00 pm Eastern time. Now I really feel like a fool! I mean, stoopid with two "o"s. Dumber than a bag of hammers.

Of course, the Gayle King Show people did not know this about me, and when they finally called, I managed to hide the fact that I'm a complete idiot. They gave me some ground rules, and said they I would be able to listen in to the taping of the monologue, and then Gayle would come on the line. Well, it all worked like clockwork! Gayle came on the phone and I actually talked to her! How exciting! I’m not sure what I said, really, but I did manage to mention rescue dogs during the conversation, which lasted all of about 2 seconds! I hope I don’t sound like a blathering idiot!

So if anyone has XM radio, I'm the first "caller" after the commercial break. Of course, I neglected to ask what day the show would be on the air.

I told you I'm an idiot.